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Bugsy2 Offline
#1 Posted : Saturday, July 20, 2013 5:53:11 PM(UTC)
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Crying I had to euthanize my beloved Cavalier King Charles Spaniel on Wednesday. It was a decision that nearly killed me, but it was in his best interest. He was 14. He's been having more bad days than good days over the past few weeks, but his health took a serious decline on the weekend. The news devastated my mom... and unfortunately she found out via FaceBook.Blushing

I haven't had the heart to put away his things yet. I still hear him bark early in the morning to go outside. I can still feel his soft fur between my fingers. I can still feel his presence in my house. I just miss him so muchSad!! After my husband's uncle died.. and then when everyone went home I thought life would return to normal. It didn't. My son wants to get another dog right away, but I don't. I need time to grieve for Bentley. Is that weird?

Here is a picture we took of him when we first brought him home. He was so adorable... but he LOVED my sneakers and kept chewing the little plastic tips off the laces!! (I hope the pic attaches... this site has been acting strangely for me lately)
Bugsy2 attached the following image(s):
Bentley.JPG
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rhondah* on 7/21/2013(UTC)
sewnmachine Offline
#2 Posted : Saturday, July 20, 2013 7:36:43 PM(UTC)
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Bugsy,

My heart aches for you. And I know how bad you are hurting. And still sensing his presence around you is not weird at all. And honestly, for all we know he might still be there with you. The love between a dog and their people goes both ways. He knew how much he was loved.

Right now your heart is broken. It will get easier, but it will never really go away. He took a big chunk of your heart when he went - and some things just never completely mend.

Grieve for him for however long it takes - you'll eventually start to breathe again.

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Bugsy2 on 7/22/2013(UTC)
Rhonda~ Offline
#3 Posted : Saturday, July 20, 2013 7:36:54 PM(UTC)
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I am so sorry to hear about your furry little friend. They sure do give us so much and it is always hard to lose them. Dogs are one of God's most amazing creations!
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Bugsy2 on 7/22/2013(UTC)
MOgoggingirl Offline
#4 Posted : Saturday, July 20, 2013 9:12:46 PM(UTC)
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Our furbabies hold a special place in our hearts that only they can.Love Mellow Sad
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Bugsy2 on 7/22/2013(UTC)
JoyceG Offline
#5 Posted : Saturday, July 20, 2013 10:25:20 PM(UTC)
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When my beloved Dexter was killed years ago..I went into depression and bawled every day. I wanted another dog but no one would let me rescue one because mine died by being attacked by the neighbors dog. Finally after a month of searching...I finally found a dog listed on Craigs list. I know you are grieving for the loss of your furbaby..but believe me..the ONLY thing that helped me was getting another dog to have in the house. FuzzB didn't replace Dexter but he did make my heart feel less empty and I was able to smile and laugh again instead of the daily bawling. So seriously think about getting a new dog. There is one out there that needs your love just as much as you need their unconditional love!

Joyce

Edited by user Saturday, July 20, 2013 10:26:13 PM(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

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Bugsy2 on 7/22/2013(UTC)
ChelaDones Offline
#6 Posted : Saturday, July 20, 2013 11:07:07 PM(UTC)
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I know EXACTLY how you feel. I had to put down my Lhasa Apso, Mollee, in 2002. She was 15 her health took a sharp turn about 2 months before. I heard her footsteps for HOURS outside my bedroom door, after I got home from the vets office. I have never gotten another dog. I had cats at the time, and I still have cats and that helped. But nothing can ever fill that particular void.

In January I lost my darling cat Spot (the black & white one in my avatar). He was with me for 19 years and such an AMAZING animal. That's another BIG void that I can't fill with a 'new' pet.

On the bright side, they do come and visit from time to time. I'll see a black cat enter the room and then disappear, or a light brown blur out of the corner of my eye. I'll feel them jump up on the couch or bed that I am on when no other animal is in the room. Or I'll feel them cuddled up to my leg, just like they use to.

It never goes away, I never quit missing them. You just have to get use to them not being around all the time.

~Angela
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Bugsy2 on 7/22/2013(UTC)
mickeydee Offline
#7 Posted : Saturday, July 20, 2013 11:40:44 PM(UTC)
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I'm so sorry for your hurt. Pets are such an important part of our families. When my dogs passed away, I got another puppy right away. When my golden retriever passed away, I had to wait a few months to even think about another dog because she was "the" dog. I decided not to get another golden (even though it will always be my favorite breed) because I would want it to be just like her and that would not be fair to the new dog. I went on Petfinder one day and saw this little, white dog with her head tipped to the side and I thought maybe, just maybe.... My friends and family were shocked that I went totally opposite of my golden. This little one on Petfinder was 5 years old and had been taken to a high kill shelter because she was pregnant and they automatically euthanize pregnant dogs. A rescue group was able to get her in time and she went to a foster home to have her puppies and at the right time they were all put up for adoption. I knew that I did not have the energy for a puppy. She had obviously been abused, but with time and love she came a long way. She is loved, and spoiled, and spoiled and spoiled! She is so sweet I think she is very happy to be loved in a safe and happy home. I am bedbound now and we have a little set of steps (she is 10 pounds and very little) and she lives up here on the bed with me. I think we rescued each other. Maybe with time, you will be able to find another fur baby to love and help heal your hurt.
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JoyceG on 7/21/2013(UTC), Bugsy2 on 7/22/2013(UTC)
Calmom Offline
#8 Posted : Sunday, July 21, 2013 12:15:59 AM(UTC)
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The pain eases but never goes away. I had to put my precious "Brittany", 85 lb Lab @ age 14. She was ill and I could not allow myself to be selfish and watch her suffer. I went into a deep depression for about 3 wks after and even though it has been 8 yrs, I miss her so much.

My DH finally convinced me to get another Lab 2 yrs ago. It took 6 yrs for me to even consider getting another dog because I did not think my heart to bare the loss of another baby (my dogs are always babies to me).

We have had our New Lab for 2 years and I love her so much. However, as much as I love our New Loved One "Lady", it has never replaced Brittany and my heart still aches for her.

It is hard to give advise on if you should get another Dog right away or wait. It is a personal decision that only you can decide. I love my Dogs as if they were my children, silly as it may sound, it is the truth.

My heart and prayers go out to you, you were so very lucky to have all of those wonderful and loving years with Bentley, so try to focus on them. I am so very sorry for your loss.

HUGS
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Bugsy2 on 7/22/2013(UTC)
rhondah* Offline
#9 Posted : Sunday, July 21, 2013 7:55:36 AM(UTC)
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So sorry for your loss. (((HUGS)))
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Bugsy2 on 7/22/2013(UTC)
Ladybug Offline
#10 Posted : Sunday, July 21, 2013 8:41:42 AM(UTC)
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Oh, Lisa, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know exactly what you're going thru. When I lost my sweet Sasha, I thought my world had ended. I was an absolute basket case. I had just retired (because of a med. issue) and was looking forward to spending a lot of time w/ sweet Sasha -- going for long walks, etc. Well, that didn't happen. She became ill shortly thereafter. I miss her something terrible and it's been 4 years now.

But, she sent me my sweet li'l Bailey from heaven, a month later. Bailey was looking for his forever home and he found me. (lonnnnng story!) But, even tho he was a li'l rescue --- he rescued me!!! Smile

Every situation is different and time will tell if you want to get another furbaby. Maybe Bentley will send you on a mission to help rescue another furbaby. Smile

Sending {{{{hugs}}}} your way! Smile

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Bugsy2 on 7/22/2013(UTC)
JoyceG Offline
#11 Posted : Sunday, July 21, 2013 10:38:37 AM(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: mickeydee Go to Quoted Post
I'm so sorry for your hurt. Pets are such an important part of our families. When my dogs passed away, I got another puppy right away. When my golden retriever passed away, I had to wait a few months to even think about another dog because she was "the" dog. I decided not to get another golden (even though it will always be my favorite breed) because I would want it to be just like her and that would not be fair to the new dog. I went on Petfinder one day and saw this little, white dog with her head tipped to the side and I thought maybe, just maybe.... My friends and family were shocked that I went totally opposite of my golden. This little one on Petfinder was 5 years old and had been taken to a high kill shelter because she was pregnant and they automatically euthanize pregnant dogs. A rescue group was able to get her in time and she went to a foster home to have her puppies and at the right time they were all put up for adoption. I knew that I did not have the energy for a puppy. She had obviously been abused, but with time and love she came a long way. She is loved, and spoiled, and spoiled and spoiled! She is so sweet I think she is very happy to be loved in a safe and happy home. I am bedbound now and we have a little set of steps (she is 10 pounds and very little) and she lives up here on the bed with me. I think we rescued each other. Maybe with time, you will be able to find another fur baby to love and help heal your hurt.


I also had to go with a totally different dog when I got another one. Dexter was a Schipperkee and ended up with a Pomerainian and then a few months later..a beagle puppy showed up in the neighborhood and ended up being our 2nd house dog. My beagle is the most loving dog ever! And a breed I never would have picked out for myself because they aren't 'cutsie'. No regrets getting 2 different breeds after Dexter passed away.

Joyce


Joyce

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Bugsy2 on 7/22/2013(UTC)
DBCMC Offline
#12 Posted : Sunday, July 21, 2013 10:39:47 AM(UTC)
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So sorry to read your post and your loss of your precious Bentley. Totally understand how you are feeling though as we have been through it several times. Our fur babies really do become part of the family and as such it is so hard to lose them. The last time for us was about 10 years ago and it still is hard to remember the losing them. We have two small dogs now a Bichon (Bojangles) and a Boston Terrier (Zoey)and they bring us a tremendous amount of joy! As others have said eventually the pain is not so sharp and when you are ready to open your heart to another it will also get easier still.

All my best.....
Donna

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Bugsy2 on 7/22/2013(UTC)
CanadianRose Offline
#13 Posted : Sunday, July 21, 2013 11:30:15 AM(UTC)
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I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. We had to say goodbye to our precious Lab, Draco, about 4 years ago. I kept seeing him in my dreams. It took a year, but we finally adopted a lab cross who is called Bones. He will never replace Draco, but he has his own place in our hearts. The pain does ease in time, but you will never forget him.
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Bugsy2 on 7/22/2013(UTC)
BJR Offline
#14 Posted : Sunday, July 21, 2013 11:46:49 AM(UTC)
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My thoughts and prayers go out to you. It is so very hard to lose one of your furbabies! They give you so much love. Take it a day at a time. God will bring you comfort and when the time is right I believe he brings another one that he wants you to care for. Hugs. BJR.
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Bugsy2 on 7/22/2013(UTC)
EstherWheat Offline
#15 Posted : Sunday, July 21, 2013 12:17:49 PM(UTC)
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So sorry for your loss! It will get easier but give yourself time to grieve for your sweet friend.
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Bugsy2 on 7/22/2013(UTC)
NotGoingGreyGracefully Offline
#16 Posted : Sunday, July 21, 2013 3:28:07 PM(UTC)
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I volunteer in the Bereavement office at a hospice. We deal with grief from the death of a loved one every day.

I know how you feel. In February, when I lost our Princess, I came here to the boards for comfort. These friends helped me like no others could.

You are, very appropriately, grieving your loss. It never goes away, but if you will feel your pain and share it with people who care about you, it will get better. Whether or not you replace your furbaby, now or in the future, is a very personal decision and whatever you decide will be right for you. Everyone experiences grief differently. You are never wrong to feel as you do!!! Remember that!

Right now, do whatever you can to take care of yourself. The pain of grief is often physical, but experts don't recommend that you take painkillers, unless you have something obvious like a sinus headache or migraine, or a sprain or bursitis or whatever. Eat well, exercise if you can, visit friends who care (even on the boards is good, if that works for you). Accept the love we send you. You are not alone!!!

God bless you. I hope I gave you some comfort at this sad time.
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Bugsy2 on 7/22/2013(UTC)
Bugsy2 Offline
#17 Posted : Monday, July 22, 2013 9:53:25 AM(UTC)
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Thank you so much everyone!!

Our almost one year old kitten has been deeply affected by Bentley's passing. They were "snuggle buddies". Now Ari wants anyone who's arms are free. She is so clingy... and vocal. I've never heard her meow so much before. She goes to Bentley's bed and just meows to break your heart. She won't sleep there without him, thoughSad. I'll get his things put away soon.

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